First, I guess apparently I am officially old, or old-fashioned about some traditions that I grew up with. For decades, I believed the word ‘shower’ as in bridal or baby, meant you shower the person with gifts and advice. Now that tradition is changing a bit with millennials. So I decided to research its beginnings.
From ecosia (greener search engine): “The term “shower” originates from the Victorian Era when gifts were placed in a parasol to “shower” the bride-to-be with small items for her home. And for mother’s to be: “The term “shower” comes from the idea of guests “showering” the expectant mother with gifts and advice.” And from Wikepedia: ” A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding.” And for mothers-to-be, wiki says: “Traditionally, baby showers are given only for the family’s first child, and only women are invited to party, though this has changed in recent years, with baby showers being mixed-sex or taking place in the workplace. Smaller showers, or showers in which guests are encouraged to give only diapers or similar necessities, are common for subsequent babies.” These are referred to as ‘sprinkles,” a new term for me.
Gift-giving continues, but now opening them at the party is often no longer done to my dismay. If the purpose of the party is the gifts, shouldn’t they be opened as part of the party? Some traditions are good ones and I guess I’m old fashioned about some of them changing. First, it was the starting of gender reveal parties! In my generation, we had to wait until we gave birth to find out the gender. I’m fine with finding the gender out beforehand and it helps with gift buying, but do you need a party for it? I don’t think so.
Then I recently discovered that opening gifts at showers is no longer a practice to save time I guess; they just take the gifts home to unwrap. Doesn’t that defeat the initial purpose with gifts being the purpose? Happened at a 1st birthday party too. I dislike that because I have spent time and money to shop and often to handmake a gift, and I prefer it be opened in front of me. Also, I enjoy seeing all the other gifts received, especially cute little baby items, and to see new baby care trends. And hearing the guests oohing and ahhing over cute little outfits? And I am fine if men want to join in with what was traditionally a women only party.
I worked hard on a niece’s baby’s gifts two years ago, making many crocheted sea animals, and no one saw them. I want them opened, passed around, and then taken home. I don’t just go to the shower to have a meal or snacks. And, I definitely can live without the games, those could go if you want to save time. Obviously, the newer generation claims it just takes too much time to open and pass the gifts that were given to them. It’s now optional, and I don’t care for this change. Guests took time to purchase and choose a special gift for you and often I spend many hours hand making my gift. There are other ways to handle the unwrapping of them. Don’t open them all at once, or at least ask who wants their gift opened (tag it when arrive?).
I am stubborn enough to say, why should I even attend ? Just drop the gift unwrapped off, or have it delivered? And don’t get me started on thank you’s. At least most showers and weddings that I’ve attended send thank you notes, but sometimes that isn’t even done. It’s so impersonal and I feel it is just rude. Some traditions are just worth keeping in my opinion and thank you notes are a gesture worth continuing, indeed a thoughtful necessity.