Only two weeks ago life was somewhat normal. I was making plans with people, had events to look forward to attending, active in getting out to exercise and so much more. Then meetings, classes and appointments began to be cancelled.   Two the first week, then four the next week. Now it’s life at home, with some internet zoom activities, email and phone calls.  I was able to get take out with friends and dine in for St Paddy’s day which was a nice addition.

None of us have ever lived through a pandemic so we don’t really know how to react.  Our leadership is also lacking and that adds to the anxiety. The closest scare I lived through was 9/11 when we didn’t know what to expect next, and faced a downturn in the economy for a short time.  We have weathered recessions, but never isolation, quarantines and keeping our distance from loved ones even when we want to console or be consoled.

I go to bed close to the normal time without my late night show humor and get up around the same time, but wonder why. I was tempted to stay under the warm covers yesterday, but refuse to let malaise and laziness over take me.  Most days I still get dressed and fix my hair and makeup, but soon that will change with my salon closing too.  We will develop the Covid-shaggy-hairdo?   Occasionally, I feel a bit down, lonely and frustrated with the unknowing and lack of things to look forward to in the near future.  Maybe impatience and also anger that our country is so unprepared.   I am still getting out most days to get the mail, go to existing doctor appointments, or search for items I need at the grocery store for me or my pets.  It is really depressing to see so many bare shelves and not knowing what the future will hold.  I was almost in tears today as me and others raked the shelves for remaining items and also considered those who have no income or food to live with. Truly I am also blessed to be retired with a pension at least.

Mere weeks ago, my calendar was full with 1-4 things per day…busy with political campaign, doctor appointments and vets, jazzercise and yoga, lunches with friends and other business.  Now most all of them are cancelled.  Even our assemblies for elections will be ‘virtual’. 

Granted right now I have enough to keep me busy. I have hobbies, cats, do this blog, family and friends to keep up with. TV worked, except during our snowstorm a couple nights ago and I can do a lot on the internet thank goodness.  I can watch church online, which I usually do anyway, and I listen to spiritual classes and meditations. I am putting out almost a daily newsletter now with tips and resources and adding some to my website (used to be weekly).  I was able to get my taxes to be prepared, and I also work part time from home with my own natural businesses and for a Medicare broker.  I am to start stem cell next week but don’t know if that will be postponed, and finishing up my gel shots in my knees with two to go.  My craft business has come to a standstill with the two shops I consigned in having closed (not due to the virus). 

But this all so different and unique for someone who is very active and enjoys seeing people most every day.  I miss my work outs too as I am not very disciplined to do a video at home and it really isn’t fun to walk alone, nor safe, and the weather is still iffy.  I baked and cooked some this week and joined an online study group.  There’s plenty out there to keep us busy if you have interests and the time!

Even when out and about, one is supposed to maintain a distance from other people.  And I have family who are having health issues, even a hospitalization coming up and I can’t even visit! I am concerned about my 87-year-old dad who has heart issues, and others who have compromised conditions.  

I am concerned about the democratic process of our elections this year, as few even came to caucus, and it doesn’t seem fair to expect people to go vote in crowds; such a good reason for all mail balloting!  And very concerned for all the people being laid off, for those who were already struggling financially or unemployed, for the homeless, and small businesses suffering.  I have too much empathy.

And the unknowns…how long will this go on? Will things that are postponed be able to happen in a couple months?  Will we lose people we love?  Will we return to normal, learn from our lessons for the future?  Perhaps mother nature is shedding some of us from destroying her!   There is less pollution right now.  Dolphins and swans are returning to Venice.  Perhaps we got too close to animals with our over population.  We need to examine our use of resources and ways that we can improve on alternative energy sources. So many wake-up calls!

Til next week…stay well!

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One Comment

  1. Thanks so much, Sandy, for sharing your personal experience and reflecting on all that we have collectively lost and all the loss that is coming our way. It is a heartbreaking time and also terribly lonely as well. I look forward to the time when we will be able to meet for a cup of tea and reflect on all that is happened, as well as our hopes for the future.

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